A brilliant star falls from the sky, right into your hands. It dissolves into your skin, enters your veins and swims inside your blood. It becomes every part of your soul, your being. And then you have to put it back to where it came from- the sky. And it’s the most painful thing you’ll ever have to do and that you’ve ever done.
Your whole world falls apart. You fall apart. Your dreams are shattered. Whatever you had imagined for your future together- crashes to nothingness.
And now you feel stuck. Unable to move on. Still dwelling over a past relationship. Trying to get them out of your head!
You go through this agonizing emotional rush, while your Ex has moved on with a new life, a new love.
Why is it so easy for them to let go- when you’re so heartbroken?
It’s probably because of what you initially believed about your relationship:
1. You Feel like you Didn’t Want to Break Up!
Even if you were not the one who initiated the break-up, you were subconsciously involved in bringing it to an end. How?
When your relationship went downhill, you were probably experiencing an emotional turmoil. You didn’t want to be a part of an unhealthy relationship. Your subconscious mind organized a chain of events- that led to a break-up.
Isn’t it empowering to know that things turned out in your favor when you could have been dragging along an unwanted relationship?
Advice: Create a Comparative Chart- to have a clear picture, Write Down the positive and negative aspects of being with your ex. Then analyze. I Promise, writing down will give you a strong insight on what would have been the right thing to do.
2. The Feeling of Being Rejected:
Nobody likes to be rejected. And a rejection coming from a person whom we trusted with our lives? Oh, hell no! It shakes our self-esteem. Bruises our Ego. Makes you want them back!
But, let’s face it: if you believe you’re going to get some validation from them returning back to you- you might have a self-esteem issue that you probably need to handle first.
3. You Feel That They Are Happier in Their New Relationship (and this was something you wanted for the two of you!)
“The grass is always greener on the other side”
But, go back in time and think about your relationship with them. Think about their relationship dynamics with their parents/ friends/ ex-partners etc. Is there a specific pattern you see in their relationships- when a situation of conflict arises?
“As You Do Anything, So You Do Everything”
If your relationship was crappy (problematic) with your ex, it is likely that their current relationship is also dwelling on the same grounds. Thank yourself for getting out of a bad situation! Cheers!
4. Your heart laments, “This is the end of the world! There could be no other! I will never be able to have the kind of relationship I always wanted!”
When you let go of someone, you not only let go of the person- but also the life that you dreamed of creating with him or her. If you feel “They were the one!” or “I can’t live without them”- you’ve strangled yourself in an Unhealthy Attachment.
Maybe the purpose of this relationship was to learn how to let go and move on.
“You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, maybe the very reason why you don’t have anything better.”
The truth of the matter is that there is plenty of fish out in the sea. And, among them, there is that one person who is right for you! But, to be the best person for them, you need to go through certain experiences- so that when they come along, everything falls in the right place!